It's Friday

I have a blog post brewing in my mind that is not quite ready to write, and I don't have the time to write it today. But this week has been so filled with evidence of God's faithfulness in our lives that I didn't want to fail to express my gratitude and amazement at all He has done and continues to do. I can truly say that it is hard to be grateful for some circumstances, but it is amazing when God uses those circumstances to show us more of who He is and remind us of His grace, faithfulness, and everlasting love for us (I use "us" to refer to all people, not just my family). Honestly, the shifting sands of this world and the uncertainty and pain of difficult circumstances bring us a greater sense of our need for God, more compassion for others who are suffering, and the deep conviction that this world is not home. I can say with full conviction that our hope is in our God alone, every day, in both trials and joys. This song is wonderful, and Aaron Shust is a favorite of mine. May your Friday and your weekend find you hoping in Christ alone, unshaken by "drought or storm".


Loving and Learning,

He is with us

The Psalms have always been my go to book for scripture reading, for many different reasons. I have come to believe that I love them so much not only because they show the range of human emotion and heart in relation to our lives and God's presence, but also because they are actually song lyrics to ancient worship songs (music is pretty much one of my favorite things in the world). Nothing is better for my heart and mind than when I find a song like the one below, a portion of a Psalm set to beautiful music. So, of course I had to share it.

May you rest in Him this weekend, even if the storms rage around you.
He is with us! Hallelujah!




The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Psalm 46:11

Loving and Learning,

Seasons

I usually revel in the fall - enjoying the falling leaves, the crispness of the air, and the color of a fall blue sky (something different about its shade from the sky of summer). This season always reminds me that harvest is a blessing, that the dying must happen for new life to burst forth in spring, that thanksgiving is something we get to live every day of every season.

This fall has so far been a season of hardship and uncertainty for our family--filled with change and risk that have brought little peace or confidence in our decisions. I have felt completely attacked on every front as a mom, wife, friend, and child of God. And it has taken so much of my energy to listen for God's voice in the midst of the lies that the deceiver throws my way. There are so many questions that I do not have answers for, but I am thankful that I don't have to have those answers. God has them, He is good, He loves us, and He is Sovereign. I do not say those words lightly or flippantly, and am fully aware that the really hard circumstances with which we are dealing may be God's exact plan for our family. He is teaching me that what I want and need are oftentimes so far from one another, and I know from His word that Him making me like Jesus is far more important than giving me temporary happiness. HE is an awesome and amazing God whose grace I experience every day, but my thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways (see Isaiah 55:9). I just pray for His grace that I may accept with gratitude whatever He gives me and walk by faith even when the road is dark and I cannot see the way.

This season has also been marked by reminders of God's goodness--encouraging words, faithful prayers, and kind gestures by sweet friends and sisters in Christ; a realization of how God has strengthened our family and marriage as we face these changes united in purpose and love to walk by faith; and the support and love of our extended families. God has also shown me some amazing scriptures and reminded me of some old hymns that are His gifts to me when I am having a particularly tough day. So, I will close this post with one of the passages and one of the hymns that have encouraged me through this season. I pray that your current season whether it be one of joy or sorrow, comfort or hardship, doubt or certainty, will be filled with His presence and peace. His grace is sufficient.

Psalm 40 has been a great comfort and prayer for me in these days. I hope you will read the entire Psalm, but here are a couple of the verses to which I particularly relate.
^"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, 'The LORD is great!' But as for me, I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; you are my God, do not delay." v.16-17

I will arise and go to Jesus, He will embrace me in His arms. In the arms of my dear Savior, oh there are ten thousand charms.

Loving and Learning,

This is How Emptiness Sings

No, I did not come up with that title...if only I were such a writer. But I discovered this song and the songwriter who wrote it today, only to also discover that she is the writer of some of the songs that have become part of my life's soundtrack. Her name is Christa Wells; she wrote "Held" and "Our Hope Endures" as recorded by Natalie Grant, and many, many more. This song so perfectly expresses much of what I try to verbalize about how to reconcile the joy and beauty of experiencing God's grace against the brokenness and suffering I see around me. God is good. His gifts are amazing. He is at work in this world to bring glory to Himself and to make all things new. At the same time, people suffer, children die, orphans wait, so many lose hope. And sometimes, I just want to go home. But as long as I am here, I fight to sing in the empty places, rejoice in His gifts, and to really love people beyond myself, my fears, and my hurts. Most days I fail miserably, and I often cannot comprehend how He takes me, loves me, and wants to use me in all my brokenness. But I know He is the only One who is worth giving my life for, so I love Him and I reach for Him and I grasp on to His grace for the day.

How Emptiness Sings from Northview Church on Vimeo.

Singer/songwriter Christa Wells performs her original song at Northview services July 16/17.

Loving and Learning,

We interrupt this program...

Or maybe it is more like we interrupt your plans and your life...I missed the post for School Fun Friday and probably will miss the next two Fridays of posting about organization. I have put my organization project on hold for now due to several sets of circumstances and changes in the life of our family as well as some happenings in our community. Life happens, and some things are way more important than blogging. My prayer with every blog I write is to bring glory to God and to encourage others by being real about my life and our family's journey to follow hard after Jesus, wherever He leads. So, when my life takes a turn, so does the frequency and content of my posting.

We have several praise updates and prayer requests for our family, so I am just going to put them out there and ask you to pray.

Urgent Prayer for Healing and Recovery
If you are a reader who is new or not a part of our community in small town, Alabama, I ask first that you pray for a young man named Austin Childress, his wife, Camille, and their entire extended family. Austin was in a motorcycle accident in Nashville, TN last Sunday, and had life-threatening injuries. He has made some major progress, and his family is praising God for each small step of the journey to recovery.  Please pray often and fervently for Austin's complete recovery and for this precious family. They have been a light for the Lord and a blessing to so many in our community, including our family. We attended church with them several years ago, and are so thankful for their love and support of our adoption of Anderson. We are praying like crazy! God is already being glorified in and through this circumstance as Austin makes progress and his family faces this road with grace and love, praising God through it all.

Praising God for Vacation Bible School
In our faith family this past week, we were so blessed for our big kids to attend VBS. And for the first time, I actually got to hang out and even help a little during the week! We truly love our faith family and I am so grateful for our friends and teachers this week who led the kids and loved on them and taught them so much about God's love and His word. Thanks to some great photographers, there are tons of pictures of kids and happenings at VBS. Anderson got to play with his friends, too, and he had a wonderful time. Please pray for the many children who attended who do not have a church home and whose families we hope to reach out to as a result of this past week.

God is growing our family again
Jeff and I have begun attending a weekly class to prepare our family to adopt again, this time through the foster care system. We know that many people will not understand our decision to adopt again so soon, but we also know that this absolutely something that God has led our family to do. To steal the wisdom of a friend from church, when God calls you to something you have two choices--obey or choose disobedience--and we know that disobedience is never a good option. So, no matter how crazy we look to the world, we are grateful and excited about the journey to grow our family again, and we ask for your prayers for God's provision and wisdom. There are many details that I cannot share about this new journey, but I can absolutely tell you that we feel God's presence in every detail so far.

God's Presence Through It All
If I continued sharing with you the sorrows and joys of this past week, my post would be so long that you might just fall asleep reading it. Not just our family and local community, but so many people we know and friends of friends who are facing major life-changing decisions, dealing with pain and sickness, grieving a tragic loss, and suffering through the evil of this world. At the same time, many we know who are celebrating new beginnings and milestones worthy of great thanksgiving and praise.

Throughout this week of praying for those who are walking through valleys, praying for those living in the midst of grief and sorrow, rejoicing as I see my children learning to love and serve God more every day, and walking a path of complete faith and trust in God with no answers, I have cried, laughed, and prayed so much. And God has been speaking to me so clearly that HE is here. No answers, no understanding of the suffering I see around me, no explanation. And that is okay. Because He is HERE and He is the I AM and we can rest in HIM when all around us is crumbling and when all around us is blooming. And HE is much better than answers or understanding--His presence alone is the air of grace and peace and hope to our souls suffocated by the darkness and sin of this life. He is making everything new for His glory.

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'” Psalm 91:1-2

Because of Jesus Christ alone, I can still dream and believe. He is my refuge and my fortress. May you rest in HIM as you believe in His sovereign and unfailing grace for each moment of each day. Thank you for your prayers for these dear ones and for our family.

Loving, Learning, and Believing,

Getting real...

There are things I share on my blog and things I don't. It's easy to share the good things, the joys, and even the "lite" version of my struggles. It's harder to get real and open up the really hard places in my life for the viewing of any and all who choose to peruse this online space. And for anyone who stops here (there are a few of you), once or frequently, my hope and prayer is that the words I type and the emotions I express through my posts are encouraging to you, and that they never ring false or hollow. So, in the spirit of getting real, here are a few things God is showing me. It's quite a list, but not a prescription. It's just a good reminder of what is important. I am not sharing it with you so that you can create a check off list for each day with these words on them. But it might be a good thing to print out and read often for a little encouragement!  This post began in my head on a Sunday morning before church a couple of weeks ago when reading a blog that ended by asking for comments on what mom's would tell themselves if they could go back 10 days, 10 months, 10 years...

Reminders to Myself:

1. LOVE - Love with your heart open. Love God. Live in God's love and let Him transform you to love people even when it is hard. Walk in real love, not some Hallmark card, sappy love. Love when it's messy, when you have to go out on a limb, when the dirt and yuck and preconceived ideas try to get in the way of loving. Love when someone has disappointed you. And don't think this only applies to people who love you back or whom you like--love those who are your very enemies and pray for them. Love the "least of these". And do all of this loving with action and in truth-not just with words.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." John 3:16-18

2. LISTEN - Listen to God: through the sweetness and sharpness of His word, the Bible; through His Spirit, speaking to your heart in prayer; through the pain and the darkness of trials and disappointments as He teaches you. Listen to your husband when he wants to tell you about his day, listen to your kids when they want to tell you every detail of the latest dream or adventure in their world, listen to beautiful music and spoken words as older and wiser ones play and sing and tell stories that can teach us, listen to the cries of those who are unable to speak and speak up for them, listen to the sorrow of a friend or stranger who needs to speak her heart. But DO NOT listen to the voices that seek to destroy you, devour you and lead you to places of sin, hurt, and frustration.

“Now then, my children, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways.  Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not disregard it. Blessed are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway." Proverbs 8:32-24

3. LET GO - Let go of past hurts. Forgive. Cry or scream to the sky if you need to, but allow God's grace to cover over the pain and then give that grace to those who hurt you, even if they show no remorse or refuse to believe that they have wronged you.  Let go of the idea that perfection is what matters - reach for all that is good and beautiful and right and true, never missing those things because you want to have an immaculate home, perfectly compliant and calm children, beautiful clothes, unbelievable hair, the most gorgeously landscaped yard, and a list of accomplishments three miles long for you and your family. Excellence honors God, but judgemental perfection does not. Let go of your desire to please others. Focus on caring about them more than caring about what they think. (See 1.) Let go of your tendency to be critical of others when they don't do things your way. Let go of your stuff and your dreams and give them to God, asking Him how He wants to use your time and money. You will be amazed at what He does!

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Galatians 2:20

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

4. LAUGH - As much as possible! Laugh with your kids when they tell you a joke that makes no sense. Laugh just because. Laugh at mistakes, spills, falls, and dumb things you said! Laugh when your planned day turns into a series of unplanned mishaps. Never laugh at someone else's pain or expense, but laugh with people as you build friendships and find things to laugh about together.

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy..." 1 Peter 1:8

 "If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:10

5. LEARN - from God by walking with Him each day. Learn about the beauty and the sorrow of this world, so you can add to one and be a part of diminishing the other. Learn from those who are not like you by getting to know people outside of your community and comfort zone. Learn from those who are wiser than you. Learn to admit when you are wrong. Learn that honesty is more valuable than anything you might obtain by lying, cheating, or stealing. Learn how to be a real friend. Learn how to work hard and work with others. Learn that sometimes not saying what you want to say is best. Learn how to give more and take less. Learn to LOVE, LISTEN, LET GO, LAUGH, and  LEARN as you seek to live your life poured out for God, a life that will matter at it's end because it was lived for the One who was and is and is to come.

 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

And when you have a day in which you were unable to do any or all of these or do any of them well, realize that your salvation does not come from your worthiness or abilities, but from the free gift of God through Jesus Christ. God's delight in you on bad days is the same as on good ones. Ask Him for grace and strength to live in these things the next day!

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

Loving and Learning,