Friday, October 14, 2011

Seasons

I usually revel in the fall - enjoying the falling leaves, the crispness of the air, and the color of a fall blue sky (something different about its shade from the sky of summer). This season always reminds me that harvest is a blessing, that the dying must happen for new life to burst forth in spring, that thanksgiving is something we get to live every day of every season.

This fall has so far been a season of hardship and uncertainty for our family--filled with change and risk that have brought little peace or confidence in our decisions. I have felt completely attacked on every front as a mom, wife, friend, and child of God. And it has taken so much of my energy to listen for God's voice in the midst of the lies that the deceiver throws my way. There are so many questions that I do not have answers for, but I am thankful that I don't have to have those answers. God has them, He is good, He loves us, and He is Sovereign. I do not say those words lightly or flippantly, and am fully aware that the really hard circumstances with which we are dealing may be God's exact plan for our family. He is teaching me that what I want and need are oftentimes so far from one another, and I know from His word that Him making me like Jesus is far more important than giving me temporary happiness. HE is an awesome and amazing God whose grace I experience every day, but my thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways (see Isaiah 55:9). I just pray for His grace that I may accept with gratitude whatever He gives me and walk by faith even when the road is dark and I cannot see the way.

This season has also been marked by reminders of God's goodness--encouraging words, faithful prayers, and kind gestures by sweet friends and sisters in Christ; a realization of how God has strengthened our family and marriage as we face these changes united in purpose and love to walk by faith; and the support and love of our extended families. God has also shown me some amazing scriptures and reminded me of some old hymns that are His gifts to me when I am having a particularly tough day. So, I will close this post with one of the passages and one of the hymns that have encouraged me through this season. I pray that your current season whether it be one of joy or sorrow, comfort or hardship, doubt or certainty, will be filled with His presence and peace. His grace is sufficient.

Psalm 40 has been a great comfort and prayer for me in these days. I hope you will read the entire Psalm, but here are a couple of the verses to which I particularly relate.
"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, 'The LORD is great!' But as for me, I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; you are my God, do not delay." v.16-17


I will arise and go to Jesus, He will embrace me in His arms. In the arms of my dear Savior, oh there are ten thousand charms.


Loving and Learning,

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I love Jesus Christ, am a seeker of beauty, and am a grateful child of God who would be lost and hopeless were it not for His grace. I am learning to walk in love, see interruptions as divine appointments, and value people and relationships above agendas and results. I pray my life is grace-filled, and brings joy and encouragement to everyone I know and meet. We are a family of 6, built by God through love, birth, and adoption, living in the beauty and the struggle that accompanies parenting kids from hard places. Got questions? Email me at loveandtots3@gmail.com.

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